Misunderstood & emotionally insecure.

Nobody likes to be misunderstood, frankly its one of the worst feelings in the world. When you are trying to do something but it got misinterpreted and now all of a sudden you are feeling guilty without making a mistake. The problem, if you are not very extroverted, is that once the misunderstanding is out in the open you won’t try to correct it, especially if the misunderstanding is between you and someone close to you. You know trying to correct it will only lead to conflicts where the other person will probably yell at you and make you remember all the things you’ve done wrong so instead you’ll apologize and you’ll accept a mistake you’ve never even made and by admitting that you were in the wrong even though you weren’t you will feel guilty and you will feel like shit. But for you, that is much better than having a long stretched fight over who is right and who is wrong. You don’t want to act too emotional so you’ll suppress your emotions and you’ll let the other person tell you about the mistakes you didn’t actually make.

When you are socially awkward and over-emotional you don’t really make friends easily and the ones you do, you get so attached to them that a simple text from them is enough to make your day or ruin it, to motivate you to do good or to make you lose all hope. Someone who hasn’t experienced companionship and emotional closeness all his life will hold on tightly to even a bit of it with all their strength and they’ll readily sacrifice anything they can for that emotional security, they’ll give up their self-respect, shed their respect and set aside whatever little ego they have just for that emotional security. For someone who has felt misunderstood all his life when there comes a person who understands them it feels like they belong somewhere and that they mean something.

The problem is that this emotional security is dangerous because eventually everybody leaves and when they’ll leave you’ll be left neither with your pride nor with and emotional security and it’ll break you. Sounds quite grim but you can actually prevent that from ever happening. Instead of depending on others for your emotional security, depend on yourself, you have to realize no one can understand you and help you better than yourself and it’s okay to seek emotional support from your friends but depending on them for your emotional security will only lead you down a path of heartbreak. So focus on yourself, build yourself, one step at a time and probably write a blog as an emotional outlet. Remember it’ll take time and they’ll be a lot of hurdles along the way, but don’t lose hope, because it is important that you love yourself for you and for those around you. Frankly, if you don’t love yourself how can you expect others to love you?

Ayn Rand was right when she wrote that “To say I love You one must first know how to say the I” You have to learn to be your own emotional support so that you can hold your head high and so that you don’t become a burden to your friends.

 Learn to say the” I ” my friend.